Thursday, October 27, 2011

Pumpkin Carving 101…

One year, in an attempt to surprise MC with my awesomeness, I decided to carve him a Minnesota Vikings pumpkin. The fact that the Vikings were doing poorly and we lived in Arizona did nothing to deter me.


Although I could see where I had totally botched up the logo, he didn’t appear to notice. 

In truth, I was completely amazed.  I was pretty sure when starting on the pumpkin that I would end up with something resembling a constipated bull.  Imagine my surprise when it actually looked like the Vikings logo.

The following Halloween, he brought out his Minnesota Wild jersey.  Would I be able to carve their logo? I took one look at all the intricate bits and pieces of the logo and inwardly shuddered. 

Yeah! No problem I told him, and set to work.


Side Note: This is what a pumpkin looks like after it has sat out overnight in the warm desert air of Arizona. 

The summer of the next year we moved to Minnesota.  In keeping with tradition, I choose another Minnesota team: the University of Minnesota and their mascot, Goldy Gopher.  By this time, I was becoming bored with the whole pumpkin carving shtick. 


Maybe bored isn’t the right word…

Horrified.  I was becoming horrified at having to spend another five hours with my back hunched over, intricately chipping and cutting little pieces of pumpkin while my hands cramped and my arms itched like I had just taken a mosquito bath.

After the U of M pumpkin, I decided I was done.  I was throwing in the towel on this whole pumpkin carving thing. 

And then… the Minnesota Twins went and got themselves a new stadium.  Who was I not to celebrate that fabulousness?!?


Finally, something wonderful happened:  No one in my family cares about Minnesota’s basketball team, the Timberwolves. 

I was free!!! 

Giddy with excitement, I realized I could carve whatever I wanted.  Heck, I didn’t have to carve anything at all!  And so last year’s pumpkin was simply our last name.  I didn’t even draw it on the pumpkin first and, get this, it turned out kinda crooked.  I DIDN’T EVEN CARE.  Elated at escaping my pumpkin carving bondage, I slapped that baby on the front porch and threw a candle in it. 

The lesson in this?  If there is even the slightest possibility that you might have some kind of awesome hidden talent, DO NOT let your family know.  They will hold it against you and expect your awesomeness ALL THE TIME.  I can’t even begin to describe the palpable disappointment the BLT* displayed upon seeing last year’s pumpkin. 

*Not the sandwich, but bacon sounds really good right now…

This year, I was just going to have the kids go and pick one of the Better Homes and Gardens Pumpkin Stencils to print out and bow out of the whole pumpkin thing altogether.  And would you even guess what happened next? 

Our women’s basketball team won the championship. 

I just can’t win. 



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