Yep. I’m holding out on you, people.
I have a lot buzzing around in my head, but I still can’t bring myself to say it out loud. Maybe I don’t want to jinx it. Maybe I’m afraid what people will think.
It’s not a bad thing, to be sure. But instead of just writing it out and being all excited, I keep typing a sentence, then deleting it. Then, staring at a blank screen…
Maybe it’s because I’ve started so many things that I never followed through with. Maybe I realize that once I write it down, I have to accept the truth of the statements I write. Maybe it’s because I want everything I write to only be the truth and not some gloss over. Maybe, maybe, maybe…
Although I’m tired of the maybes, I guess I’m not ready to say it out loud. I really thought I was… honestly and truly told myself that I’m not afraid anymore. But the fact remains: I can’t write about it right now and the original post I wrote in April is still sitting in my drafts.
When I read over the one I wrote in April, it makes me happy and it makes me cry at the same time. It makes me sad for the past and excited for the future. That should be a good thing, right?
So what’s holding me back?
I guess for now, I am…
Thinking {In My Head}.
